Welcome to Practical Magic! A productivity and intentional living newsletter with quick, actionable tips that automate, delegate, or speed up your work.

Read time: 4 minutes

I’ve been watching Daisy Jones & The Six on Prime Video (highly recommend!) and nothing is more fun to watch than an extremely blunt woman because it goes against the archetypes of how women “should” be.

While dated, so many of those stereotypes were instilled in us and hold true to this day. But Daisy Jones never holds back her opinions (for better or worse).

So I always love a protagonist who can be polarizing with their brutal honesty because, frankly, that just isn’t me.

I had to unlearn a lot of things to find my voice. Maybe you can relate? (I could write a whole newsletter on that alone, but that’s for another day!)

One of the things I had to unlearn and re-learn was how to give feedback – especially when it’s critical.

I was lucky enough to take a live training on this actually (via a former employer) and it completely changed how I give feedback.

The training laid out a framework (which my ops brain loves) that makes it feel easy to provide feedback.

It takes the guesswork out of what to say. It takes the subjectivity out of the issue. And it allows you to stay on track and stick to the facts.

Check it out…

A Simple Framework For How to Give Feedback

The following steps are how you should formulate what you are going to say. For example, I write out each point in my notes and take it to the conversation. This especially helps if nerves tend to get to you, like if you’re managing up.

Given that most conversations are via Zoom these days, bringing notes to the convo without feeling awkward is way easier.

Step 1: Ask permission

As someone who’s relatively non-confrontational, this first step unlocked how to start these conversations for me. No matter what people say, as humans, receiving critical feedback is hard to hear.

In the training, the facilitator explained that by asking permission, psychologically, the receiver feels more open and receptive vs on-guard or blind-sided.

Examples:

• I'm running into a roadblock with the team, do you mind if I provide some feedback?

• Do you mind if we chat about it real quick?

Step 2: State Your Intention

This is where removing subjectivity comes into play.

Listen, I’m as emotional as they get (anyone else cry during Shark Tank…no? Just me?), but bringing emotion into feedback is not the right time. Emotion comes across one-sided and can make the other person shut down.

Instead, state what you were trying to accomplish when you came across the issue.

Examples:

• I am trying to get XYZ completed on time…

• I was reviewing the project files to find the client information…

Step 3: Name The Behavior.

Be very specific here. Avoid generalizing phrases, like “a lot of issues” or “it wasn’t what I was expecting.” General phrases don’t help anyone improve and the person might not understand what the actual issue was.

Examples:

• When I asked [person] for XYZ, I was told XYZ.

• When I reviewed the XYZ project file, the section on client budget and client deliverables were missing.

Step 4: Describe The Impact

Similar to above, be specific. It can be tempting to add in emotion here, like “the client isn’t happy” or “this is making my life harder,” but that’s not describing impact.

Examples:

• Without that information, I'm not able to XYZ.

• On Monday, we discussed that the budget and client deliverables would be completed by yesterday, but that information is still missing.

Step 5: Inquire About The Learner Experience

Did anyone ever tell you to assume the best in people? This is one of those times! Give the person an opportunity to provide their own feedback. This is a conversation, not a scolding.

Sometimes, we learn that people have completely valid reasons why something didn’t work out as we expected. This is an opportunity to learn.

Examples:

• Have you come across that before?

• Do you have more insight into what happened?

Step 6: Identify The Desired Change

Feedback is meant to improve and change us. That’s why it’s so, so important to provide all types of feedback – positive and negative. And it’s why truly successful people receive critical feedback well. They understand the end-game is to raise everyone up, together.

Examples:

• If I can get details within 48 hours of kick-off, I can finish XYZ by [date/XYZ].

• Moving forward, can I receive notice 48 hours prior to a due date if something can’t get done? You can send that to me via email or Slack.

Hopefully in the examples above, you saw how critical feedback can be subtle and not always an employer-to-employee interaction.

Lastly, I always document what was discussed in a follow-up email as a review of what was discussed. You can make this as subtle or obvious as needed depending on who you’re giving feedback to (e.g. employee vs client).

If giving negative feedback sinks your stomach, I hope this helps you channel your inner (more subtle) Daisy Jones.

Always in your corner,

Alex

Systems Strategist & Fractional COO

More Practical & Magical Finds ✨

Three things I’m reading, watching, or learning this week.

1. 📺 Check out Daisy Jones & The Six. It’s also a beloved book.

2. 🍽️ I had been struggling to cook healthy meals at home (frankly, I don’t love cooking and let’s just say Doordash was my BFF…), but I recently found an app called MealPrepPro. I’m loving it! It truly removes all thinking from my meal planning and cooking process - which is exactly what I needed.

3. 👯‍♀️ Yellow Co Conference in San Luis Obispo this October. See you there?!

If you implement any of these tips or learn something interesting, I'd love to hear from you! Just reply to this email or connect with me on social.

👋 Find me on LinkedIn or Instagram and now, Threads👋

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• ​Book a 1:1 strategy call with Alex and get the answers you need to get unstuck and move forward with confidence in your systems.

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